Notes from a self-defense expert: Trump is an abuser who must be stopped
Trump just told us he wants to be a dictator
Trump is telling us exactly what he plans to do. Autocrats do that and Trump has very specifically done so this week. Trump is an abuser, and allowing him back into power would irreparably damage the whole world. The world is facing so many crises right now: we cannot afford any more of Trump’s corruption, grift, and crime.
My 25+ years studying self-defense and warning sings of abuse mean that my alarm bells ring at the highest level when hearing Trump say outright that he will be a dictator. His syntax is always hard to parse, but he did say that to Sean Hannity. It does not matter if he said he would be a dictator only on Day One. Right—who has ever decided to be a dictator just for one day and then stop? Nobody.
What if you were in a relationship someone who said they would not beat you, except on Day One? I hope you would run for the hills.
Trump is an adjudicated sexual assaulter. He is constantly uses a rapist’s tactics on the whole country: grooming, lowering our boundaries, normalizing abuse, and telling us the bad things he wants to do, and then doing them. Read Gavin de Becker’s book The Gift of Fear now if you haven’t already. Trump has displayed red-flag warning signs since the day he descended his stupid escalator to announce that he was running for President. The more we accept his abuse, grifting, and numerous crimes, the harder it is to stop him. We have traveled very far down this road at the moment. As the justice system slowly grinds forward, the 2024 election is our ultimate last chance to put a stop to this madness. Please do all that you can to vote him out one more time. Republican Party—this is your mess. You could have rejected Trump long ago, but you allowed this to fester and the utter madness to continue even after January 6.
Recommended listening as free podcasts:
Liz Cheney’s interview with Rachel Maddow, and
Rachel Maddow and Chris Hayes in an extended live-event discussion, Nov 24th.
“The Gift of Fear” Pre-Incident Indicators
Forced Teaming
This is when a person implies that they have something in common with their chosen victim, acting as if they have a shared predicament when that isn't really true. Speaking in "we" terms is a mark of this, i.e. "We don't need to talk outside... Let's go in."
Charm and Niceness
This is being polite and friendly to a chosen victim in order to manipulate them by disarming their mistrust.
Too many details
If a person is lying they will add excessive details to make themselves sound more credible to their chosen victim.
Typecasting
An insult is used to get a chosen victim who would otherwise ignore one to engage in conversation to counteract the insult. For example: "Oh, I bet you're too stuck-up to talk to a guy like me." The tendency is for the chosen victim to want to prove the insult untrue.
Loan Sharking
Giving unsolicited help to the chosen victim and anticipating they'll feel obliged to extend some reciprocal openness in return.
The Unsolicited Promise
A promise to do (or not do) something when no such promise is asked for; this usually means that such a promise will be broken. For example: an unsolicited, "I promise I'll leave you alone after this," usually means the chosen victim will not be left alone. Similarly, an unsolicited "I promise I won't hurt you" usually means the person intends to hurt their chosen victim.
Discounting the Word "No"
Refusing to accept rejection.
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Edited to add: Here’s a screen shot of headlines reporting this incident. They are TOO WEAK. Trump said he would be a dictator. We need our major media outlets to keep moving forward with clear and courageous language. They have been doing this better lately (very late to the game). But, if you listen to what Trump said, he IS saying he wants to be a dictator.
Here is the link to this Fox News video segment which includes Trump’s discussion with Hannity. Listen to Trump for yourself and really think about what he is saying.
By now we all know that Trump never answers a question succinctly and directly, but he is answering it here! I think he is both telling the truth and lying at the same time. Truth: he wants to be a dictator, and Lie: no, it would not stop after day one. Trump is making a ridiculous statement that contains a kernel of truth. Don’t throw out the truth with the ridiculousness.
If you can stomach it, here is the video clip of Trump talking to Hannity as well as some Fox News discussion of it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eadlfYxElW8
The newspaper headlines reporting this incident should have read, "Trump says he will be a dictator." Do better, NY Times.